Post by The Flame {of Compton} on Dec 4, 2004 10:03:26 GMT -5
Yup. This is officially in the kingdom of Suck AZZ, homes… I’m broke, I’m a joke, and now, ontop of all that mess, the deportation po-po’s is after my azz. So in other words, The Flame is done, homes… I’ve gotten the sneak preview of hell, and it ain’t pretty, esse. It just sucks real bad and smells like rotten pusi, homes. And you don’t have nothing but $2 and a bag of Cheetos©. Life sucks, my clothes smell like pee pee, and most of all, every one of my chicos dun forgot about me, homes… The only things I got in life is me, myself, my mask, and I, homes. That’s it. Everyone else can go eat a d!ck, homes. Cuz being poor is real bad. But I still got one thing, and that’s that Luchadore pride, dammit. And I’m gonna get out of this hellhole, and YOU’RE THE ONE THAT’S GONNA GET ME OUT OF IT, HOMES!!!
{The camera fades into the scene, with an emotionally, physically, and just run-down dirty looking Flame, who is wearing a dirty mink coat as well, in a dark, police questioning room with what is supposedly an EWA agent. The man then begins to speak…}
Agent: Well, I appreciate your story, and I’m sad that you’ve fallen upon hard times, b-
Flame: NO BUTS, ESSE!!! I’m getting back into that damn EWA, it’s the only way The Flame can get some of that dineiro I sorely need, esse. Besides, what’s keeping me from not getting back in anywayz, homes?
Agent: Well, your credit is almost non-existent, you’re a fugitive from the government, and anytime now you could be thrown back to Mexico, wit-
Flame: THE FLAME WASN’T EVEN BORN IN MEHICO, HOMES!!! I WAS BORN IN COMPTON, CALIFORNIA. CITY OF COMPTON, A CRAZY CHICO NAMED FLAME CAME FROM DAMMIT!!!
Agent: But your records say you were born in Me-
Flame: F@CK THE RECORDS!!! I know where I was born, dammit. Now, what else is supposedly keeping The Flame from returning, homes?
Agent: Nobody likes you. That pretty much sums it up.
Flame: Tell The Flame something he doesn’t know, homes. Why do you think I’m poor as dirt right now, esse? That damn Tico and Don King threw me in the mental institute and took all of my money after “Tha” Flame didn’t work out so hot, man. So we should go after them, and get my money back. It’s the only right thing to do, so I can get back to being the rich, pompous, cocky chico that we all know and love, and that’s The Flame.
Agent: But still, nobody likes you, and in order to fly in this fed, people have got to have some sort of rea-
{The Flame then gets up out of his chair and begins to flail around in his mink while yelling:}
Flame: DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WERE TO RETURN TO THE EWA, HOMES?! THAT WOULD AFFECT NOT ONLY THE EWA, BUT THE ENTIRE WRESTLING BUSINESS AS A WHOLE, ESSE!!! PEOPLE WOULD PISS THEIR PANTS, DAMMIT!!! THEY THOUGHT THE FLAME WAS DEAD, BUT I’M ALIVE AND KICKIN, HOMES!!! And now all I need now, is a contract. I don’t care if it’s just one show. I need one chance to prove to the world, that The Flame ain’t goin out like no punk azz muthafuggin b!tch azz chico, homes. Now lemme have a contract, and I’ll be on my way.
Agent: Well, there’s another problem.
Flame: WHAT NOW?!
Agent: Ummmm, I don’t think you could possibly get back into EWA, with your recent history and whatnot…
Flame: Well guess what, homes: My recent history don’t mean sh!t, esse!!!
Agent: But-
Flame: BUT NOTHIN, VATO!!! You see, before The Flame went all loco n sh!t, he did his homework… And guess what I found out: If you won the World Championship in EWA, no matter what era, you are AUTOMATICALLY given a LIFETIME EWA MEMBERSHIP!!! So it’s like I didn’t even leave EWA, and I’m technically in it, so get the pen, get the paper, AND GIMME THAT DAMN CONTRACT, HOMES!!!
Agent: You make a good point, sir. But there’s still another snag in the fence for you…
Flame: {The Flame throws up his hands and lets out an angered/exasperated sigh} WHAT NOW, HOMES?!
Agent: EWA is currently at war with SCW, and vice versa, and therefore, because of this state of war, they really don’t need a distraction like yo-
Flame: Hold on, wait… EWA at war, homes?
Agent: Yes, ShadowGeist turned on them a couple of months ago, and now its been straight warfare since then.
Flame: O HEYLL NAW!!! EWA at war, and they actually think they gonna win without the DEFINITION OF LUCHA HIMSELF, THE FLAME?
Agent: Well, um…
Flame: Where’s the next EWA show at?
Agent: I think it’s a-
Flame: F@CK you homes, I’ll use mapquest in YOUR car!!! TO THE STOLEN FLAMEMOBILE!!!
Agent: He-OOOOF!!!!
{Before the man can say a word, The Flame superkicks the agent, and puts his mink over the body, takes the keys from the man, runs out of the small building, and gets into the car while turning on the CD that was on full blast {Papa Roach, “Time and Time Again”}, as The Flame burns rubber and speeds onto the road to find the EWA!!!}
[/b][/center]{The camera fades into the scene, with an emotionally, physically, and just run-down dirty looking Flame, who is wearing a dirty mink coat as well, in a dark, police questioning room with what is supposedly an EWA agent. The man then begins to speak…}
Agent: Well, I appreciate your story, and I’m sad that you’ve fallen upon hard times, b-
Flame: NO BUTS, ESSE!!! I’m getting back into that damn EWA, it’s the only way The Flame can get some of that dineiro I sorely need, esse. Besides, what’s keeping me from not getting back in anywayz, homes?
Agent: Well, your credit is almost non-existent, you’re a fugitive from the government, and anytime now you could be thrown back to Mexico, wit-
Flame: THE FLAME WASN’T EVEN BORN IN MEHICO, HOMES!!! I WAS BORN IN COMPTON, CALIFORNIA. CITY OF COMPTON, A CRAZY CHICO NAMED FLAME CAME FROM DAMMIT!!!
Agent: But your records say you were born in Me-
Flame: F@CK THE RECORDS!!! I know where I was born, dammit. Now, what else is supposedly keeping The Flame from returning, homes?
Agent: Nobody likes you. That pretty much sums it up.
Flame: Tell The Flame something he doesn’t know, homes. Why do you think I’m poor as dirt right now, esse? That damn Tico and Don King threw me in the mental institute and took all of my money after “Tha” Flame didn’t work out so hot, man. So we should go after them, and get my money back. It’s the only right thing to do, so I can get back to being the rich, pompous, cocky chico that we all know and love, and that’s The Flame.
Agent: But still, nobody likes you, and in order to fly in this fed, people have got to have some sort of rea-
{The Flame then gets up out of his chair and begins to flail around in his mink while yelling:}
Flame: DO YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WERE TO RETURN TO THE EWA, HOMES?! THAT WOULD AFFECT NOT ONLY THE EWA, BUT THE ENTIRE WRESTLING BUSINESS AS A WHOLE, ESSE!!! PEOPLE WOULD PISS THEIR PANTS, DAMMIT!!! THEY THOUGHT THE FLAME WAS DEAD, BUT I’M ALIVE AND KICKIN, HOMES!!! And now all I need now, is a contract. I don’t care if it’s just one show. I need one chance to prove to the world, that The Flame ain’t goin out like no punk azz muthafuggin b!tch azz chico, homes. Now lemme have a contract, and I’ll be on my way.
Agent: Well, there’s another problem.
Flame: WHAT NOW?!
Agent: Ummmm, I don’t think you could possibly get back into EWA, with your recent history and whatnot…
Flame: Well guess what, homes: My recent history don’t mean sh!t, esse!!!
Agent: But-
Flame: BUT NOTHIN, VATO!!! You see, before The Flame went all loco n sh!t, he did his homework… And guess what I found out: If you won the World Championship in EWA, no matter what era, you are AUTOMATICALLY given a LIFETIME EWA MEMBERSHIP!!! So it’s like I didn’t even leave EWA, and I’m technically in it, so get the pen, get the paper, AND GIMME THAT DAMN CONTRACT, HOMES!!!
Agent: You make a good point, sir. But there’s still another snag in the fence for you…
Flame: {The Flame throws up his hands and lets out an angered/exasperated sigh} WHAT NOW, HOMES?!
Agent: EWA is currently at war with SCW, and vice versa, and therefore, because of this state of war, they really don’t need a distraction like yo-
Flame: Hold on, wait… EWA at war, homes?
Agent: Yes, ShadowGeist turned on them a couple of months ago, and now its been straight warfare since then.
Flame: O HEYLL NAW!!! EWA at war, and they actually think they gonna win without the DEFINITION OF LUCHA HIMSELF, THE FLAME?
Agent: Well, um…
Flame: Where’s the next EWA show at?
Agent: I think it’s a-
Flame: F@CK you homes, I’ll use mapquest in YOUR car!!! TO THE STOLEN FLAMEMOBILE!!!
Agent: He-OOOOF!!!!
{Before the man can say a word, The Flame superkicks the agent, and puts his mink over the body, takes the keys from the man, runs out of the small building, and gets into the car while turning on the CD that was on full blast {Papa Roach, “Time and Time Again”}, as The Flame burns rubber and speeds onto the road to find the EWA!!!}
To Be Continued...